Whatever Happened to Crazy Old Oscar?

Published by Guest Contributor in: Film -- Date: 15 Feb 2013 Comments: 0

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Seth Macfarlane OscarsSeth McFarlane will host the upcoming Academy Award ceremony on February 24th, and I think this is a great choice. In the most boring year for film on record, why not spice things up and bring some life to an otherwise increasingly stale event? There’s a good chance that half of the audience will be too busy trying to figure out who he is to realize that Les Miserables was nominated for Best Picture.

When the 2013 Academy Award nominations were recently announced, and this time around, as per usual, the Oscars made more bizarre choices than Charlie Sheen has in the last two years. The Oscars has begun to show its age; it’s like that relative you see once a year who’s getting a bit senile, but since it has been around longer than anyone else in the room you can’t say anything and just have to go along with it. The last two years have been an absolute disaster in terms of hosts. Billy Crystal wasn’t bad, but it was still awkward. Despite giving it his all, Crystal’s 2012 hosting gig pretty much amounts to a snuff film because as the broadcast goes on we watch him die a bit more with each segment. An amazing thing happened when Anne Hathaway and James Franco hosted, though. I had an experience that was not unlike burping, sneezing and farting all at once. When Hathaway cheerfully welcomed everyone at the start of the show I laughed, died inside a little, and kind of sympathized with James Franco. Still, this is better than the year Hugh Jackman hosted. I never understood why no one had the wherewithal to tell him that he wasn’t hosting the Tonys.

Speaking of Anne Hathaway, let’s talk about her nomination: she wants to win it. I’m almost afraid to see what will happen if she doesn’t. She has been on a non-stop tour talking about how hard she worked, her “process”, the weight she lost, and so on and so forth. She went as far as to say she would be embarrassed if she didn’t get nominated. Damn, tell us how you really feel, Anne. Why doesn’t she just fully commit to pimping herself for the Oscar like Jackie Weaver did a couple of years ago? Weaver Jettisoned all good taste and took out full page ads of herself in evening wear simply with the word ‘Consider.’ It was tacky, but it worked. She should be careful Olly Moss Oscars Posterto not push the desperate card too far, though. In 1972 front-runner Diana Ross campaigned her ass off, that turned people off, and the little gold man went to Liza Minnelli.

There are always a few head scratchers at the Oscars, but this year takes the cake. It started getting out of hand a few years ago. Maybe it’s just me, but when the quality of films being produced is on the decline, I don’t think that is the time to nominate more of them. I mean, what were they thinking with these nominees for Best Picture? Some of it I get. It was inevitable that Lincoln was going to get nominated for everything, but I haven’t been that bored in a long time. Life of Pi was a let down. The story never delivered on any of its promises, but the visuals were stunning. Perhaps I should reserve any judgment until I see it as it is truly meant to be seen: High on ecstasy. The Academy loves a big ole musical (i.e., Chicago, Cabaret) but why did it have to be Les Mis? There are, like, approximately 112 adaptations of this; the last one wasn’t even 15 years ago. But given the snooze inducing fare that was on offer this year, it isn’t as if there were many better options.

There are always a few snubs that get people talking, too. I was surprised as anyone else that Ben Affleck and Katheryn Bigelow were left out of the Best Director category, but the real snub came from Lincoln. I think Tommy Lee Jones’s wig should have received the nod, not him. That wig was the only thing that kept my head from toppling over the back of my seat. His wig killed it! Daniel Day Lewis in Lincoln drag was very well done and he will win because duh. If you play someone famous who has lived and died, you will win an Oscar. Those are the rules.

It will be interesting to see who wins (read: Lincoln, Lincoln, Daniel Day-Lewis, Anne Hathaway, Lincoln, Lincoln), but I’m not sure I want to watch. So I’m not going to attend any Oscar parties (not that I ever get invited to parties), read Twitter, or even turn on the TV, I’ll read the list of winners the next day because the list of losers is too long. Okay, Okay, I may tune in for a hot minute, because David O. Russell is nominated and he tends to curse people out and get punched by really famous actors. So, given the chance that he may act a fool I might watch for a second, just to see if he delivers.

***David Daniels is a guest Contributer and currently works as a freelance video editor and is a member of the Salt Lake Film Society.

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