Top Ten Michael Scott Quotes From ‘The Office’

Published by Kelly in: Television,Top Ten Lists -- Date: 14 Mar 2011 Comments: 9 so far


Since Steve Carell and his Michael Scott character will be leaving The Office on April 28, so we decided to continue our celebration of the greatest boss in television history with a list of his funniest quotes. It was no small task trying to pick the top ten from a list of hundreds of awkward yet insightful quotes, but below are a few of our favorite gems. We’ve left “that’s what she said” off the list, because that just goes without saying. So here they are, The Top Ten Best Michael Scott Quotes from his wonderful seven seasons as the Dunder Mifflin boss on The Office.

10. “I don’t understand. We have a day honoring Martin Luther King, but he didn’t even work here.” (Grief Counseling, Season 3)

9. “That’s why I wanted a signal between us, so I wouldn’t have to just shout nonsense words. That’s her fault.” (The Client, Season 2)

8. “I love babies. I think they are beautiful in all sorts of different ways. I try to pick up and hold a baby every day, if possible, because it nourishes me. It feeds my soul. Babies are drawn to me, and I think it’s because they see me as one of them. But cooler, and with my life put together a little bit. If a baby were president, there would be no taxes. There would be no war. There would be no … government, and … things could get terrible. It actually probably… it would be a better screenplay idea than a serious suggestion.” (Baby Shower, Season 5)

7. “I love inside jokes. Love to be a part of one someday.” (The Convention, Season 3)

Top Ten Michael Scott Moments

6. Holly and I are dating. It’s been a week, and I still can’t believe it. It goes to show that everything you want in life, you get. And you can’t work for it. It just comes to you.
(PDA, Season 7 )

5. “Now I know what the founders of Phillip Morris felt like. You just wanna give people a smooth, fun way to relax, and suddenly you’re just some terrible monster.”
(Cafe Disco, Season 5)

4. “Business is like a jungle. And I am like a tiger. And Dwight is like a monkey that stabs the tiger in the back with a stick. Does the tiger fire the monkey? Does the tiger transfer the monkey to another branch? Pun. There is no way of knowing what goes on inside the tiger’s head. We don’t have the technology.” (The Coup, Season 3)

3. “People will never be replaced by machines. In the end, life and business are about human connections. And computers are about trying to murder you in a lake. And to me the choice is easy.” (Dunder Mifflin Infinity, Season 4)

2. “Dwight, you ignorant slut.” (Safety Training, Season 3)

1. “Well, that’s easy for you to say. You have a bad imagination, it’s stupid. I live in a fantasy world.” (The Cover-Up, Season 6)

What did we forget? Be sure to tell us what your favorite Michael Scott quote is!


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  1. 9 Comments to “Top Ten Michael Scott Quotes From ‘The Office’”

    1. Seth Quillen says:

      I can’t believe you left “Boom, Roasted!” off the list!!! That was a top five for sure.

    2. Chelsea says:

      I love #2- short and simple. Keep it simple, stupid!

      Also, I’ve always liked, “Pam, will you come rub butter on my foot? It’s Country Crock!”

    3. Rachel Quilleb says:

      HAHA I love the ones when micheal is talking about dwight!! Especially number 4! Favorite one hands down! I do agree with seth on the boom roasted thing though!

    4. Bob says:

      “Thats what she said”. Duhh how could you forget that, its number 1

    5. Seth Quillen says:

      @bob, she didn’t forget, read the first paragraph.

    6. Jim says:

      I always liked:
      “Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information.”

    7. Vanessa says:

      Anything from women’s appreciation. “I know the crap out of women!”

    8. Andy says:

      “You have no idea how high I can fly”
      Hahaha! We say that all the time around here now at inappropriate moments!

    9. The Saw says:

      In negotiations, if you make a mistake you’re dead. I made a mistake. I wore women’s clothing.

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