Ten Best ‘The Big Bang Theory’ Quotes: Sheldon Cooper
Contrary to popular belief, Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory is the best roommate guy could have. That is, of course if you are willing to abide by “The Roommate Contract”. Which admittedly could be hard to do with all the sub clauses. Okay, who am I kidding, he might be the most difficult roommate in television history. That being said The Big Band Theory‘s go to man for one-liners has made some pretty good points through the years. Here’s The 10 Best Sheldon Cooper quotes.
10. Well, well, well, if it isn’t Wil Wheaton. The Green Goblin to my Spider-Man, the Pope Paul V to my Galileo, the Internet Explorer to my Firefox!
‘The Wheaton Recurrence’
9. You bought me a present? Why would you do such a thing? I know you think you’re being generous, but the foundation of gift giving is reciprocity. You haven’t given me a gift, you’ve given me an obligation. The essence of the custom is that I now have to go out and purchase for you a gift of commensurate value and representing the same perceived level of friendship as that represented by the gift you’ve given me. Ah, it’s no wonder suicide rates skyrocket this time of year. Oh, I brought this on myself by being such an endearing and important part of your life…
‘The Bath Item Gift Hypothesis’
8. Under normal circumstances I’d say I told you so. But, as I have told you so with such vehemence and frequency already the phrase has lost all meaning. Therefore, I will be replacing it with the phrase, I have informed you thusly.
‘The 21-Second Excitation’
7. Penny, while I subscribe to the “Many Worlds” theory which posits the existence of an infinite number of Sheldons in an infinite number of universes, I assure you that in none of them am I dancing.
‘The Gothowitz Deviation’
6. You may not realize it, but I have difficulty navigating certain aspects of daily life. You know, understanding sarcasm, feigning interest in others, not talking about trains as much as I want. It’s exhausting!
‘The 43 Peculiarity’
5. Ah, memory impairment; the free prize at the bottom of every vodka bottle.
‘The Agreement Dissection’
4. If you don’t mind, I’d like to stop listening to you and start talking.
‘The Herb Garden Germination’
3. I understand why you’re [Penny] upset. You’re afraid that costume makes you look fat.
‘The Justice League Recombination’
2. You want me to use my intelligence in a tawdry competition? Would you ask Picasso to play Pictionary? Would you ask Noah Webster to play Boggle? Would you ask Jacques Cousteau to play Go Fish?
‘The Bat Jar Conjecture’