Top 29 George Costanza Quotes From Seinfeld

Published by Kelly in: Television,Top Ten Lists -- Date: 28 Jan 2013 Comments: 0

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Seinfeld George Costanza

George Costanza is one of the great losers of American television. A term that Seinfeld co-creator Larry David may not enjoy since the character was loosely based on him.  Jason Alexander brought George to life with such beautiful perfection we couldn’t help but love the character. While Jerry Seinfeld was technically the star of the four piece ensemble, George stole the show time and time again with his hilariously depressing situations. George Costanza arguably had the best dialogue throughout the series’ nine year run. It would have been impossible to do this in a Top 10 George Costanza Quotes list.  So he had to expand it out to 29. And believe me that was hard enough.

Top 29 George Costanza Quotes From Seinfeld. Did we miss any???

29. Jerry, just remember. It’s not a lie… if you believe it. (The Beard, Season 6)

28. I hereby declare this summer the summer of George! (The Summer of George, Season 8)

27. But maybe the two of us, working together at full capacity, could do the job of one normal man. (The Summer of George, Season 8)

26.I got news for you– I show up with ring dings and Pepsi I become the biggest hit of the party. (The Dinner Party, Season 5)

25. Yeah, I’m a great quitter. It’s one of the few things I do well. I come from a long line of quitters. My father was a quitter. My grandfather was a quitter. I was raised to give up. (The Old Man, Season 4)

24. A man without hand is not a man. (The Pez Dispenser, Season 3)

23. I’m much more comfortable criticizing people behind their back. (Season 7, The Engagement)

22. I’m very uncomfortable. I have no power. I mean, why should she have the upper hand. Once in my life I would like the upper hand. I have no hand– no hand at all. (The Pez Dispenser, Season 3)

21. Why did I tell her I like her? I have this sick compulsion to tell woman how I feel. I like you I don’t tell you. (Male-Unbonding, Season One)

20. Every woman on the face of the earth has complete control of my life…And yet I want them all. (The Baby Shower, Season 2)

19. I just can’t believe the way people are. What is it with humanity? What kind of a world do we live in? (The Chinese Restaurant, Season 2)

18. I just threw away a lifetime of guilt-free sex and floor seats for every sporting event in Madison Square Garden. So, please, a little respect. For I am Costanza, lord of the idiots. (The Apartment, Season 2)

17. You know, we’re living in a society! (The Chinese Restaurant, Season 2)

16. Pity is very underrated. I like it. It’s good. (The Truth, Season 3)

15. You don’t understand. A garage… I can’t even pull in there. It’s like going to a prostitute. Why should I pay, when if I apply myself, maybe I could get it for free? (The Parking Space, Season 3)

14. The sea was angry that day my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup at a deli. (The Marine Biologist, Season 5)

13. She just took credit for my salad. (The Big Salad, Season 6)

12. My name is George. I’m unemployed and I live with my parents. (The Opposite, Season 5)

11. I know how to get myself fired. Now, how do I get someone else fired? (The Soup, Season 6)

12. Believe it or not, George, isn’t at home, please leave a message at the beep. I must be out or I’d pick up the pho-one. Where could I be? Believe it or not, I’m not home. (beep) (The Susie, Season 8)

11. You know if you take everything I’ve ever done in my entire life and condense it down into one day, it looks decent. (The Muffin Tops, Season 8)

George Constanza Russian Hat

10. George on Birthdays: Oh, it’s a bad day. Uh, you got everyone in your house, you’re thinkin’, “These are my friends?!” (The Betrayal, Season 9)

9. Divorce is very difficult. Especially on a kid. Of course, I’m the result of my parents having stayed together, so you never know. (The Shoes, Season 4)

8. I cannot envision any circumstance in which I’ll ever have the opportunity to have sex again. How’s it gonna happen? I just don’t see how it could occur. (The Pony Remark, Season 2)

7. I don’t want hope. Hope is killing me. My dream is to become hopeless. When you’re hopeless you don’t care. When you don’t care, that indifference makes you attractive. (The Fix-Up, Season 3)

6. I think it moved. (The Note, Season 3 and The Mango, Season 5)

5. Don’t insult me, my friend. Remember who you’re talking to. No one’s a bigger idiot than me. (The Apartment, Season 2)

4. I’ve driven women to lesbianism before… but never to a mental institution. (The Truth, Season 3)

3. I was in the pool! I was in the pool! You don’t understand! There was shrinkage! (The Hamptons, Season 5)

2. You know if you take everything I’ve ever done in my entire life and condense it down into one day, it looks decent. (The Muffin Tops, Season 8)

1. Well, you know, I’ve been lying about my income for a few years; I figured I could afford a fake house in the Hamptons. (The Wizard, Season 9)

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