Filmpopper Review: Three Musketeers

Published by Colin in: Film,Reviews -- Date: 20 Oct 2011 Comments: 0

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Do you remember the last time they remade the Three Musketeers story line and it was just called the Musketeer and sucked?  Well this is kind of a similar story.  The latest reboot of an amazing classic.  Unfortunately Keifer Sutherland and Charlie Sheen aren’t here to help make another amazing movie.

This go around the story differed quite a bit from the original.  It actually followed a play version I recently saw of it to a T.  Whether or not this is how the actual book goes I can’t say for sure, but I will flat out say that it is a much more dull version.  In fact, that was the big problem with this movie.  I was literally bored the entire time.  And I mean that, the entire time.  Most of the movie was about people prancing around in shiny outfits arguing.

I usually start my reviews by listing what was good about a movie.  So I’ll try.  The fat side kick made me laugh three times.  Well there. That was about it.

As far as what I disliked I could go on and on.  I don’t know who told the director that putting everything into slow motion was a good idea.  It wasn’t, I promise.  The only director I’ve ever seen pull it off effectively is Zack Snyder.  I don’t know if the actors could have been over acting anymore.  Also, there was never really a true villain.  There were like four mini-villains, but never did any of them so strongly upset you that you cared whether or not the good guys won out.  The CGI was laughable and often times looked so fake next to the characters you wonder if they were trying to make it look bad.  Did I mention this film is boring?  Yah there’s that too, it’s boring.

I won’t lie, I went into this movie with low expectations.  Really low expectations.  And sadly, those were not even met.  I laughed out loud at how serious the movie was trying to be or at how cool it was trying to be.  I yawned during the action scenes.  And I didn’t really care about the diamond necklace they were making such a big deal about the entire time.  It tried hard, and failed.  Everyone should go out, find the original Disney version and watch it, rather than waste money seeing this movie.  Three Musketeers receives a D.

 

 

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